I still dig you

Maybe I'll realise how screwed up I am and regret years of feelings. All these seconds I've spent with you on my mind. I'll laugh at how naiv I've been. Maybe I'll even laugh about you.

I love to hear you sing. It's like ecstasy to me, I get as high as a house. Please don't be quiet. Sing anything. Don't care what. Just something.

Blue eyes, black thoughts.

No friends.

But something inside tells me I shouldn't.

Erik Hassle

I've got a new crush, but it is not addictive! Or maybe it is... Anyways, this time the victime is Erik Hassle. He's comming to play at the Peace and Love Festival in Borlänge this summer. I wanna go.

He's just very cute and I totally love his music.
Peace

Hello beautiful song, I love you. The video is kind of cool also. And I like his hair.

I can pretend that I don't care, that it doesn't hurt.

I can pretend that I understand, that I'm not confused.

I can pretend that it will all be ok, even if it wont.

I can pretend, but I'm tired of it.

I've been wondering why life isn't "turn-off-able". Everything would be so much easier if you could just press pause for a while. Just until you feel like you can cope.

You know it's pointless without you

You are a rock upon which I stand.

How could anybody deny you?

You should know that I could never go on without you.

You are the sea upon which I float and I came here to talk, I think you should know that anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their mind.

I think you should know that I could never go on without you.

Look at this!

Even though I don't have a boyfriend I got a Valentine's Day card. It was sent by my favourite friend, Malin. It's so sweet and it totally made my day.

Thank you Malin!!

Because of the crappy decomposion (?) you cant see what it says at the bottom, so here is it:
"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye"

Just the thought of being close to you, it's incomparable. Should be happy with the life I live and the things I do, seems like I have it all. But I can't make you love me.

I'm just a girl with a crush on you.

I guess things are not how they used to be

If you open your eyes you'll see that something is wrong.

I am so angry!! I don't wanna "fall in love" with celebrities no more, it's frustrating. Argh!! The most annoying thing is that it hurts, I'm totally serious when I say that my heart is aching. It makes me so mad, cause I know better than that. This is all just a waste of time.

FUCK IT.

ida

Sometimes I just hate Swedish television. Like today when I had been waiting all day for a "new" episode of Dr. House, when I turned on the TV it was one of the episodes they showed last week. That really pissed me off!!

But then in the commercial break I saw something. What could that have been, you might be wondering. Let me tell you. They were publicizing (?) for a new season of Dr. House!! Lucky me!!

So now I'll just have to go around, doing nothing, just waiting for next tuesday to come.

Exellent.

ida

Oh yeah!!!

Score!! Coldplay received 3 Grammy awards last night, woho!
I can't really belive they're comming back here in August to perform, and even less I can believe that I'm also going to London to see them play at the Wembley arena. It's just crazy and I'm loving it!!

Can you feel it? That is the best song ever written (Sorry Jason, but I'm Yours is the runner up). When I hear this song I get all shaky, MARRY ME CHRIS MARTIN?!!!

Can you belive it?!! Me and Malin in London?! I'll have to ask someone to shoot me when I get out of there, cause nothing will ever top that. Maybe if Chris will call me afterwards and just say "Ida, I wanna be the father of your babies", then you wouldn't have to kill me. But otherwise, go ahead.

ida

I worry I wont see your face light up again

The dawn is breaking, a light shining through. You're barely waking and I'm tangled up in you.
Even the best fall down sometimes.
Even the stars refuse to shine.
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme.

Please?

Please don't tell him that I've been meaning to miss him, because I don't...

Don't tell him that 'cause he don't really need to know that I'm crazy like the rest of us and I'm crazier when I'm next to him.

Please don't dare tell him what I've become.

ida

Is it any wonder...

Is it any wonder how I write? Page's layered upon pages.

For this moments sake I do not become me. I do not watch as often as I should, so instead I sketch my life. A comfortable creature, slow and beautifully.

I'm dying here

I don't wanna fall asleep, cause I don't know if I'll get up.

I don't wanna cause a scen, but I'm dying without your love.

ida

This feeling I've got, it's not mine.

It's just leftovers, is it yours?

At least it tastes like you...

I'm lyin here on the floor where you left me. I think I took too much.

I'm crying here, what have you done?

I havent moved from the spot where you left me.

All of the other pills, they were different.

Maybe I should get some help...

ida

I've just read Jasons latest post. And I am sick, my mind is sick! When I saw that he had updated my heart just started pounding and I got nervous. How healthy is that?

And then when I read it my heart was like aching and I almost felt proud. He writes so beautiful things in such a beautiful way. And it's not just beautiful, it's so smart and true. Then I feel proud because I adore him, he is my hero. And I just want everyone else to see how great he is. I just want to know him.

http://www.freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/

ida

...

I just hate wannabees.

Suckers.

Somatimes it's just sad..

I bet you've loved someone to the point where it hurts. Where it's like you're heart is no longer yours, where it feels like this is the reason why you excist. Where there is no living without him. ...or her. If you have you also know that there's nothing that can make it go away. It's not just stop thinking about it. It is like it is and nothing can change it.

I don't know if I am what you can call "in love", it feels like it's crossed over to an addiction. At first I thought that this would go away, just like all the other crushes did. But it didn't... It haven't.

The hardest part is that he lives on the other side of this planet. He is also, I think, 15 years older than me. And I probebly should mention that he's a kind of celebrity, he's a musician and his name is Jason Mraz.

I'm a little bit ashamed, but it's not like I can just stop it, cause I know as well as you that it's so ridiculous. Of course I know it will never happen, I know that it's just imaginary. And I'm full aware of that he does not know who the fuck I am. But still there's a part of me that's hoping and wishing and wanting him more than anything else.

Even though I know so well I want it so much.

ida

Behind closed eyes

Well, you landed on my ear and then you crawled inside and now I see you perfectly behind closed eyes. I can't recall a better day, sun comin' to shine on the occasion. Let's face the fact here, it's you who's got it all. You know that fortune favors the brave. The rest is up to you, you make the call, the call to make my day. In your message say my name, your talk is all the talk. Believe me, you've got it all.

ida