It doesn't work that way

I'm not alone. I have friends. Some are real close and good friends. People I love, who's love I trust. Unconditioned. All the way. 100 %. I don't want to scare the ones I love. You don't expose them to your anxiety. To your irresolution. You don't expose the people you love to your suicide thoughts.

Handle Me

I have no hunger to die.

I don't want to die.

I don't desire death.

Truth be told I'm afraid of dying.

I'm afraid of the emptiness.

Of everything that has an end.

Of the eternity.

You know nothing of hell

I've anxiety in every season. My anxiety neither favor or discriminate. Snow, sunshine, rain or dry weather, it strikes in full force the second I think I'm safe.

I don't want to die... I just dont want to live

Who do you call when you don't have the strenght to live anymore?
Who do you call when you don't want do live anymore?

You're the needle when I don't need pain

I need you just to breath.

waking empty. seldom sleeping

like beeing broken and getting sewn back together

but everything ends up at the wrong place

it hurts everywhere but there's nothing you can do about it

cause it's been too long and everything has sort of gotten stuck

so you try and live with it

it hurts more and more every day

and you wish that you could just tear that fucking heart out and push it pack in where it belongs

but ofcourse that's impossible

so you try and live with it anyway

eventhough you don't want to

If the lies don't touch you the truth will

I mean everybody bleeds, though differently.

And then there are those who bleed constantly and that's so damn sad.

I'll always wait for you

And heaven knows I've tried to find a cure for the pain

But the water keeps on falling from my eyes.

Wonder if I'm gonna wake up from this coma

That's when it hit me like a flashback on how it used to be.
My whole world crashed. Like a cymbal

The only problem is that you're using me in a different way than I'm using you

I guess that's what i get for wishful thinking. Don't even recognize the ways you hurt me.

You know that I love you but it's just... I hate you at the same time too.

Is it wrong loving someone who's so out of your legaue you're not even playing the same sport? No. Is it weird? A little bit. Does it hurt? YES.

Laugh about it and maybe I'll get over you.

Everytime you mention her, I die a little bit.

I don't recognize what I've turned into

I don't know why I want you so. I don't need the heartbreak.
You have me I can't change. I'm not in control so let me go. Release me. Release my body. I mean, I know it's wrong, so why do I keep coming back? Just release me 'cause I'm not able to convince myself that I'm better off without you.

I told you

Imperfection is beauty. Madness is genius. It is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

I'm not falling apart when I'm with you

Life changes everywhere I go and maybe it wont be the two of os forever. Just as long as there are stars over us. And just as long as our hearts manage to keep beating.

Isn't it great beeing alive for just one more day...

How can anyone believe in everlasting love now?

I'll do anything to make your life seem better

Sometimes a lie is the most beutiful thing you'll ever have.

I'd rather be lonely than happy with someone else

Spread the gasoline all over the sunset. Tear the city apart. Pour out the ocean all the way back to the horizon. Mute the music. I'm never gonna see him again.

He'll never be back

What do you know about dawn until you've met every morning sleepless? What do you know about the sun until someone turned all the lights off? And what do you know about not wanting to wake up anymore? You're gonna see your youth rot right in front of you. What do you really know about love until you've hated it in vain? Tell me, what do you know about when your heart is beating for love who'll never die but neither live?

Old News

Ehm... There's this guy in Swedish Idol. And oh my God, he's amazing. I'm not kidding. He's got it all. The voice(read; THE VOICE). The looks(read; THE LOOKS). Everything(read; THE EVERYTHING ;))It's just too much. I'm not the first to say this and I'm definetly not the last but man, he's gonna go far. Brake like a millions of heart. Sing all the songs. He's gonna be an icon.

And I know it doesn't matter, I'm just a little fish in the great wide sea. But Erik, I adore you.

Why do you do this to me?

These days aren't easy like they have been once before. These days aren't easy anymore.
Why do you do this to me? Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breathe.
Why do you do this to me?

Curiosity

It doesn't always kill you. But there are things worse than death.

nobody. nobody. NOBODY

Everything I do feels so fucking unappreciated.

guess I'll go and face all my fear

Put down your world just for one night.
Pick me again.

What is really more interesting than me?

You know... If you would just like me back we'd be perfect.

You know I love you guys. More than you'll ever know.

Today's a special day. It's the first time I've listened to Coldplay since the 19th of September this year. There are no words to describe my love for them, there are no words for Chris Martin. The sadest part is that I can't listen to their music without crying. Without my heart breaking. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why I can appreciate them in a way that is just.. thankful and admiring? I want what they radiate. I want to feel that. I want to live that.

I wish I could say we're better of this way and believe it

I guess for you it's not enough

We're wise beyond your years and if you could feel me heartbeat you'd know exactly where to take me.

just listen to what I've gotta say

My guess is that we'd click just perfectly.
But how can I put it into words so that you wont run away?