31 August 2009

but the beat goes on da da dum da dum dada


snap back to reality. Oops there goes gravity. you only get one shot.

30 August 2009

am i invisible cause you ignore me?


beat me. hate me. you can never break me. will me. thrill me. you can never kill me. chew me. sue me. everybody do me. kick me. hike me. dont you wrong or right me! beat me. bash me. you can never trash me. hit me, kick me. you can never get me. all I wanna say is that they dont really care about us.

29 August 2009

I've been there and back


Am I supposed to put my life on hold because you don't know how to act and you don't know where your life is going? Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted, in a corner crying?Pardon me if I don't show.

27 August 2009

Schh



The way I feel inside. These thoughts I can't deny. You're the only one who needs to know. Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret. My dirty little secret.

26 August 2009

I know I'm helplessly puzzled


Nobody sees and nobody knows how you light up my day, how you catch me when I fall.

25 August 2009

"You are the sea upon which I float"









I don't know what to say about saturday 22/8. I can't really grasp that Coldplay actually were her in Sweden, playing a concert, and I was there. It's insane. And it's hard to re-tell it and try to explain how magic it was, I think it's impossible. And I feel that the more I talk about it, the more "un-special" it gets. Because to me it's almost sacred, and I kind of like don't wanna ruin it by deminish it by putting it down in words. 'Cause it is so much bigger than that. It's a bit silly you might think, but it makes total sense to me.
One thing I know is that I wish every day was 22/8/2009.

Remember me



When your left alone, standing on your toes, barely reaching the surface. When you've hit rock bottom, think of me.
When you've taken the first best train and are desperate for a conversation. When your last in line, have me in the back of your mind.
When you can't find you way back and you're lost in a cold winternight, retain me.
And when you're standing on the top of the world and there's light wherever you go. When you've won. When gravity is weak and you're flying high. Be sure to remember me.

21 August 2009

'come out, come out wherever you are'







Every night I go sneaking out the door
I lie a little more, but shh. Baby I’m helpless. There's something ‘bout the night and the way it hides all the things I like. Like little black butterflies deep inside of me.

19 August 2009

Sick



I'm sick. I think it's just another cold, but still... This sucks. Everything sucks. Doesn't matter what happens, it will suck anyway.

17 August 2009

Yaay...


I've done this before. No, its not okey. And no, I'm not in a hurry. It just sucks.

16 August 2009

Just to make everything x-tra, super, mega clear for everyone (read: me) before I post anything more. Nothing I write is about Mr. Big. NOTHING. Just so I won't get second thoughts and suddenly.... I don't know.... convinse myself in some strange way that he's worth waisting my time on. So! Now that won't ever happen. Thank you :)

M-mm

video

Hm... Now it's time for a secret. The guy singing in the clip, I have a crush on him. Mostly I joke around about it, bit it's kind of serious. Or, it's nothing more then just a little crush and it's not a joke. But shhhh let's keep it a secret 'til he marries me.

10 August 2009

Fairytales. Yeah right.












07 August 2009

desperate


I don't care if you really care as long as you don't leave.

Oh screw you


Why is my brain all fucked up? Why does it make up stupid things and make me believe it? Why can't I just be happy?

06 August 2009

Erase and rewind 'cause I've been changing my mind


Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like you, it's that I do. I've come to a point where it can't be healthy for any of us. Maybe it's just me imagining it, but sometimes it feels like we're not on the same page. And I have to let you know 'cause I can't go on like this, dying from the inside out when I'm not with you. So let's just erase and rewind.

05 August 2009

How did I let myself get this addicted?


It's the same everytime I'm not with him. Anxiety decides to pay me a visit, and stays 'til I see him again. So at least I'm not alone... But it hurts to depend this much on someone. I feel like when we're not together I might as well be dead. Or I am, on the inside. It's a wonder to me how I can talk, walk, sleep and breathe without him. But then we meet and I come alive again. I feel things other than anxiety and deathwish. I smile and I'm 100% sure I mean it. All these dark thoughts just disappear and make no sense. But eventually he has to go. I never want him to. I wanna feel alive. But I know eventually all this will have to end, he won't last forever. Nothing does.

04 August 2009

if you only knew...


If you compare last night to tonight. Tonight sucks. If tonight had been 2 months ago, it would have been a pretty good night, -blueberry pie, good programs on tv, summerbreak. But now tonight is tonight and I know how great nights can be. And that is why this one sucks.