05 August 2009

How did I let myself get this addicted?

It's the same everytime I'm not with him. Anxiety decides to pay me a visit, and stays 'til I see him again. So at least I'm not alone... But it hurts to depend this much on someone. I feel like when we're not together I might as well be dead. Or I am, on the inside. It's a wonder to me how I can talk, walk, sleep and breathe without him. But then we meet and I come alive again. I feel things other than anxiety and deathwish. I smile and I'm 100% sure I mean it. All these dark thoughts just disappear and make no sense. But eventually he has to go. I never want him to. I wanna feel alive. But I know eventually all this will have to end, he won't last forever. Nothing does.

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